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Wednesday, September 19, 2012

CState -Paper 1

Tell me about today's peer review. Do you feel like it helped you with the writing of your essay? What has been your experience writing your essay so far? Difficult, easy, etc?

19 comments:

  1. Today's peer review was helpful to me like always in writing my essay. I think that peer reviews can do nothing but help a student, especially to a student who has never written a paper before. Even though I have already taken English 1010, I still make common mistakes that are caught when doing peer reviews.

    Writing this essay was really easy. I like writing essays where the student picks their own topic. I think that it is also a lot more interesting for the teacher when there is a variety of topics to read.

    The picture on page 221 is very interesting to me. I think it definitely draws children in when riding by and seeing it. Anything this big is going to catch anyone's eye. Even adults would stop by to see what it was about. It also gives false hope. It says on the sign that they are selling lego happy meals. A lot of children might think that they are getting enough legos to build something that great and big.

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  2. The peer review is a helpful tool in writing an essay. I had many people review my essay before and after the review in class. I like that having another person's perspective on the essay rathar than doing all the review yourself.

    Also, I liked that I could help that other person as well as them helping myself. It is good experience that can help with an essay or any other writing assignment.

    As for the picture of the McDonald's sign, it makes me think of when I was a child. I always wanted to go to McDonald's because I got to play in the playhouse. Also, I have never seen an astronaunt on a McDonald's building, but I would go there just to get a close look at it. I think the big M, astronaunt, and the playhouse is the ultimate attraction for customers.

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  3. The peer review did help me with my essay. I think it is always helpful to get feedback from someone else. A peer is even better because they may not know about the topic you are writing on and can tell you what areas they need more information in to fully understand your topic. It’s also great for helping catch grammar errors.
    I’ve really enjoyed writing my essay so far. It hasn’t been too difficult, thankfully. I really enjoy writing, and essays help me to structure the jumble of fragments and thoughts that stream from my mind. I also learn when I write essays, and this one has been a real learning experience. My topic is subsidies, something I haven’t studied much in the past; it’s been great to learn more about a topic that really does play a part in our daily lives and the country.
    The picture on page 221 of Inventing Arguments really drew my eye. The angle of the picture and the way the astronaut seems ready to jump out at you is great artistically. I would definitely want to stop at McDonald’s to see the figure closer up. I think it gives off an interesting statement. An American astronaut that goes into space carries America on his shoulders. Part of our baggage is obesity caused in part by foods like what McDonald’s sells. It’s sort of ironic that an American symbol of hope and discovery would be holding a symbol of obesity and laziness. It’s also funny that the astronaut holds french fries because, if he was training for space, he would definitely not eat that.

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  4. I feel peer reviewing is an excellent tool to use. Students can talk to other classmates who could be having the same problem with the essay as the other. This way noone gets embarrassed or feel out of place. Also, this helps students to find common mistakes they might have overlooked themselves. I believe it helped me out alot.

    In writing my essay I feel the hardest time I had was trying to pick a topic, but in my search I came across a topic I already knew alot about. I have personal experience with my topic. I think it has been pretty easy for me to write this essay.

    The picture of McDonalds made me reflect back on the movie I watched in nutrition class about all the calories in the food there, and how they try to bring kids in at early ages to have them for life. The astronaut is very different it would have definately had me when I was younger. Some kids grow up hopeing to be an astronaut, and while passing by a McDonalds that has a huge one ontop of the restraunt holding a box of fries and a playplace would definatley get those young ones screaming to go to the restraunt. I believe its very smart and catchy for McDonalds, but the parents need to teach children better eating habits for the future.

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  5. The peer review was fun. It was nice to get a different perspective on my paper, as it really showed how I could tweak a few things. I also enjoyed going over someone else's paper, looking at the huge differences in writing style, discussing grammar, and chatting a bit about the different topics. Good times.

    Thisis the first paper I've written in over 10 years, and it felt like a challenge at first. I got into the swing of things, thankfully, after I really began implementing some of the essay writing tips you provided in class. I'm pretty confident in this paper, and feel that my essay writing skills will only improve from here.

    The picture on 221 kind of bugs me the more I look at it. It just looks like a set up...like the straight up sabotage of good parenting and the future health of America. Everything in the image comes together to sucker people into eating the stuff. Billions and billions served, sure sounds dependable. Lego toys in the happy meal? Wow, Junior'll get a kick out of that! There's even a playgound for him to work off his insane blood sugar spike! And hey, maybe there will be little facts about space or NASA around the playground that I can point out to him...so he'll be learning, too! Boo, I say.

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  6. The peer review was beneficial. I feel it helped me realize how much I need to remember from previous english classes. It's also always good to get another's perspective on your writing because you will always be your worst critic.
    I have always had a hard time with a thesis statement and this essay is no different. I also find it hard to tell about why I think the way I do in the first place, so convincing someone to think the way I do is hard. But, other than that this essay is rather refreshing and I think doing this has refined my writing technique and skill.
    The MsDonald's picture is really starting to disturb me a little. It's beginning to make me think about the movie "Super Size Me" and all of the calories I ate last night. Yuck! Why on Earth is there an astronaut on the building? Why is there a crude model of the Earth on the roof? A question for the universe. No more Mickey D's....

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  7. The peer review was an interesting way to find out what my paper was like from a different perspective. It was not only helpful in having my paper corrected, but it was also helpful reading someone else’s to see different styles of writing. I was able to obtain ideas for future writing styles from reading other papers.
    This essay has been a very intriguing one to write. I do like how we were able to choose our own topic and write from an argumentative point of view. It has been a challenge, but not overly hard.
    The McDonald’s picture on page 221 is unusual; I have never seen a giant astronaut on a restaurant roof before. I think it might be appealing to people’s sense of adventure, and the fries in the astronaut’s hand symbolize the Americanism of McDonald’s. The Lego happy meals and play space attract kids, and these kids will bring their families into the restaurant which keeps the restaurant in business.

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  8. The peer review was helpful because it caught little mistakes and wording that I would have gotten counted off for. Also it was nice to get another students opinion on what they would have written in the paper. It has been awhile since I have written a paper so it was nice to have someone help me out.
    Writing my essay was easier than I expected. It was good getting to know the facts about my topic because I do know several people that have went through it. I also liked that we got to pick our own topic because it was less pressure.
    I think that the picture captures the theme of the MacDonald’s. If I am driving by the first thing I would notice is the giant astronaut. Then my eyes would be drawn to where the building says play space. I like the play on words instead of it saying play place. Inside the window it kind of looks like there is a rocket that is red white and blue. Kids build dreams when they are little and they would think that they are playing in space and could eventually go there one day.

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  9. The peer review was wonderful and very helpful. Sometimes when you're writing, everything makes sense in your head but when someone else reads it, it comes out as word flub. I always enjoy getting lots of feedback on my writing, because I feel like any critique good or bad is very helpful.

    I will say though, it would have been nice to have more time for the peer review. I would have liked to of read more papers and have mine looked at by more than one person. One person may not always catch every mistake.

    The photgraph we were to examine reminded me of going to big cities when I was youinger and seeing the fancy McDonalds. I would always beg my mom to let me go in but she never would. I think putting the atsronuaght up and the lego happy meal sign up is good advertising and definately draws people in.

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  10. I thought that getting to have a 3rd party look at my paper was a great thing. There were things that I would've not noticed had I didn't have that extra help.A lot of times, as stated by mrs. sparks, when writing a paper you will constantly fill in gaps that aren't there to give coherency to a paper that might not have any.

    It is always a good thing to double check those mistakes which is why I thought the peer review was a great thing. It took some getting used to writing a paper with no 1st or 2nd person but I believe it will make me a better writer in the future.

    The picture on 221 interests me a great deal. It says a lot about the way our American industries market there goods. They have conveniently placed symbolism, like the flag, the giant space man to give a sense of American wonder and amazement, and it makes them think of McDonald's as a truly large and patriotic company that they need to spend money at to be a true patriot.

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  11. The peer review helped my greatly with my essay. I am not good at catching grammatical errors, having somebody other than me read my essay exposed a lot of mistakes I make. It also compels me to care more about knowing basic english rules so I can review my partner's essay better.

    This essay difficulty was approximately 5 out of 10 for me personally. The difficulty came from not being able to find a topic that I wanted to right about with ample information available. In addition to the topic, I had to refresh my formating skills because it has been about a year since I have written anything in length.

    The picture on page 271(in my older book) screams "AMERICA" to me. First there is the man in the space suit symbolizing how America won the race to the moon. This evokes a feeling of pride for our country. Second is the building he is standing on is a McDonald's. McDonald's is the world's largest hamburger fast food restaurant. The golden arches are recognized around the world almost as a symbol for the American way of life. Third is the lego happy meal advertisement on the sign. This can be interrupted as the reason America is the most obese country in the world. It shows how companies start selling their products to the population while they are as young as possible as to make them loyal for life. This picture can be used to show how great America is/was or how corrupt/backwards it is.

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  12. I feel as though the peer review helped in some ways, and less in others. No matter what, any kind of revision on your paper will be somewhat beneficial because anyone else that reads it may notice something about it that doesn't sound right, or a grammatical or spelling error that you accidentally skipped over. It will stand out more to them because it would be their first time reading it over. The reason I think it could have been better is because when you do a peer review, you may have some members of the class who are less familiar with grammatical corrections. Not to suggest that we have any unintelligent people in this class, I just know that I personally may not be able to offer a review as thorough as someone else in the class might be able to, others may be more familiar and know what to look for when reviewing someone's paper. If that is the case, then some people in the class will in turn receive a better outcome because the person reviewing their paper knew what to look for.

    The difficulty of this essay, for me, was negligible. I found it very easy with the assistance of the internet to find a topic, find some sources of information and statistics for my topic, and use some of my own personal experience and opinions to create a claim as to why I feel the way I do.

    The picture we were asked to review, to me, stands for corporate advertising and appeal to the general public. They have used a familiar, well known American symbol of patriotism and success in the American flag and the astronaut (most will recognize him as Neil Armstrong) to garner attention and business. People who are passing by will see this and choose to eat there because of the subliminal advertising that our conscious mind does not pick up on.

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  13. We as students need all sorts of help in different areas. We have our points of weakness and strong points in education. When writing papers i find myself struggling to catch small mistakes and different fragments that i thought goes well together. Finding myself turning in a paper that i believe is awesome then getting it back and having a 60 on it can often leaving myself whispering "bummer". Having my papers proof read by a fresh mind and preferably an english wiz has helped me considerably throughout high school.
    doing this revision is something we all need to take advantage of. it doesn't count against you and it gives your own mind a break for a little while from your own paper. I know personally that i always need someone to go over what i have written down and have them point out the mistakes that had been made that i may have just looked over countless times.
    To me This picture is trying to show McDonalds is a way of american dreams. It reaches out to kids with their wild imaginations (basically like when kids dream to be astronauts.) then the flag and painted colors of the playground could appeal to some patriotic adults who have pride and full support of their country. The building i believe is trying to draw people in through its eye appeal.

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  14. I hated the peer review in one way, but in another it helped me because if I had not have got the critism I did I would have been up a creek without a paddle.

    It did not really help me any considering I had to rewrite the whole thing. But it did make me realize to just not use the internet because me and the internet just do not get along.

    The picture on page 221 is kind of creepy. You just do not see an astronaut on the roof of McDonald's. Nor do you usually see what looks to be the globe on top of the roof.

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  15. Peer review is always a great help, in more ways than one. It allows you to get to know your class a little better and see where you stand at as far as your writing goes. Such as your topic choice understanding what you are writing and reading. It is very helpful to have someone who is looking for the grade and learning with you to help you out. I feel that the peer review qas extremely helpful in correcting and revising the essay.

    I enjoy writing and on some topics it comes a littler easier to me than others, but this one was a bit harder. Maybe it was because I choice a topic that I couldn't really research, but either way I still enjoyed writing this essay.

    I think the photo is amazing. When you think of America you think of our flag, traditions, and food. Everyone eats at Mcdonalds so for them to appeal to those who love their country is a good marketing tool. What kids don't love the Legos and space?? I believe at one point we all want to go to space in our lives, so to appeal that to kids is also a great marketing tool, as if they need it when 90% of kids want to eat there anyway. I really like looking at a resturant or store and knowing that they support this country.

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  16. I enjoyed the peer review. My peer found some grammatical errors that I overlooked. Also, being able to help my peer with their own essay was a great learning experience; since my peer went above and beyond writing an essay by publishing a book. My peer review was the longest in duration and I look forward to more in the future.
    Writing about global warming was fairly easy because I have some knowledge about the topic. I would have liked to write more but I do recall the guidelines being between 600-800 words. THis is a topic that is so important but really lacks the media coverage. I hope that changes in the future.
    The details in the photo appeals to adults by showing convenience. The playground allows the adult's children a place to play and occupies their focus. Who really wants to hear a child cry about how much their peanut butter sandwhich you made them sucks? A meal with a toy wins every time! The negative impact is putting the child on the path to obesity

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  17. The peer review helped me a lot. It opened my eyes to all my grammatical errors. Looking at other papers also allowed me to find other errors missed in my own paper.
    Writing about college football was extremely easy considering my love for the game. I could have written a whole reseach paper on this topic.
    To me the picture appeals to everyone. The astronaut and American flag appeals to Adults and patriots

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  18. I think the peer review was great because there were a lot of thing i needed to correct. I enjoyed interacting with my fellow students and overlooking their essays. Hopefully it made a big difference in my paper.
    I feel like my essay is going to turn out pretty good. I wrote more than the amount that was assigned and that made me feel good. Everything in my paper was straight from my head. If i'm not asleep then I am watching football and everything that has to do with it. My entire essay is simply my opinion on the subject. It felt good to put my views out there.
    The picture was really bizarre compared to normal Mcdonalds. It should be like that at every Mcdonalds. The first thing that popped in to my head when i saw this was maybe the astronauts have Mcdonalds in the space station. It also made me hungry.

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  19. I did not come to class that day becuase I felt ill. I wish I would have to help me with the grammer of the papper. I have never been a strong writer. I do not know why the only reason is I have no care to writer. I never keep a journal so in a way I never fell in love with it. Sorry I was not at class.

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